When Josie was a toddler, I dutifully subscribed to family-activity magazines. I always started by saying “Look! We should go to that tree-climbing family eco-resort in Costa Rica!” and finished by hurling it at the wall.
And oh, the food projects. Every kids’ activity involved seemed to turn string cheese into castles or candy bars into costumes. Why would they waste all that food, I’d demand to Josie, why? The poor thing would just flip pages and look at the ads, dreaming of forbidden processed cheese. With people starving, why do they need to pin lettuce into hats?
Well people, today I eat my words. Jean over at Renovation Therapy is hosting a Grey Gardens contest.* The Grey ladies are quite a sensation – but if you’re not familiar with Grey Gardens, it’s the true story of Big Edie and Little Edie Bouvier Beale, two Jackie O. cousins who lived out their splendiferous, manic days in a decrepit Hamptons mansion.
Big Edie and Little Edie Beale, going bats
Originally made famous in a 1975 documentary, their story was also told in a Broadway musical. For her contest, Jean asked everyone to get in touch with their inner Edie; for most people, this meant donning scarves and faux furs. At my house, we tried something different.
Little Edie wonders: will I ever get away?
Do not ask why I had to make edible Edies. It seemed like a stunning idea at the time, but last night, as I draped apple peel-scarves and flattened bread into minks, it occurred to me that I was dressing eggs.
And the photo shoot. Had my neighbors peeped through the window at ten, they might have spied me posing and shooting two hard-boiled dames. Work with me, Edies!
I’ve always had a thing for eggs, perhaps due to a conspicuous lack of Easter. Plenty of eggs at Passover, but…different. Not so decorative. Thus when I first worked in bakeries and Easter rolled around, I was thrilled to join the party. I hit the bunny trail with a vengeance; my co-workers would look over and say oh, my…um…elaborate. Not all Easter cakes get flying rabbits and a working chocolate carousel.
With apologies to every family magazine that ever advocated graham cracker choo-choos, these are the materials I used for Edie Eggs:
two hard-boiled eggs
semi-sweet chocolate (glasses and eyes)
two yellow Skittles (brooches)
one pink Skittle (lips)
glittery sanding sugar (brooches)
three peppercorns (brooch)
three chocolate jimmies (brooch)
one corn husk (shirt)
corn silk (Big Edie’s hair)
one potato peel (collar)
one slice of Health Nut bread (mink)
one Granny Smith peel (turban)
one cherry tomato peel (lips)
So, I wasted all that food – surely someone will miss those Skittles – and now I’m not even sure they look like the Edies. More like a 1920s flapper and an egg-shaped Harry Potter, but whatever. A good time.
On to the contest: If you’d like to see two adorable Edie dogs, one precious Edie baby, and several hilarious Edie adults, run over to Renovation Therapy and vote. And remember, don’t play with your food.
* contest over! Time for a new one, Jean.
